When one comment changes everything
You know that moment: a colleague makes one comment and you feel the anger rising. Your heart rate accelerates, your breathing changes. Welcome to your personal ‘Red Button’ moment.
This is the trigger for what neuroscientists call an amygdala hijack, and it’s one of the most destructive forces in team dynamics. In almost every team session we facilitate at HESPAR, we witness it happening. Someone makes a remark, and another person immediately goes into full defensive mode. The rest of the team looks away uncomfortably. The conversation grinds to a halt.
What’s taking place is fascinating from a neurological perspective: your amygdala, the brain’s emotional center, literally takes control from your prefrontal cortex, the rational part of your brain. This ancient survival mechanism, designed to protect us from physical threats, activates during perceived emotional threats in modern workplace settings.
The hijack in action
When your amygdala hijacks your rational brain, several things happen simultaneously:
- Your rational thinking capacity gets switched off
- You react from survival mode rather than thoughtful consideration
- You lose the ability to think clearly or listen effectively
- The entire team can spiral into defensive patterns
The fascinating aspect of amygdala hijack is how quickly it spreads through teams. One person’s emotional reaction can trigger defensive responses in others, creating a cascade effect that derails productive conversations and damages relationships.
The neuroscience behind the reaction
Understanding what happens in your brain during these moments provides crucial insight into why they’re so difficult to manage. The amygdala processes information roughly 20 milliseconds before your prefrontal cortex even receives it. This means you’re already in fight-or-flight mode before your rational brain has a chance to assess the situation.
During an amygdala hijack, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your system. These chemicals are designed to prepare your body for immediate physical action, but in a meeting room, they create an internal storm that makes rational discussion nearly impossible.
The hijack typically lasts about 20 minutes, though the effects can linger much longer. During this period, your ability to process complex information, consider multiple perspectives, or engage in creative problem-solving is severely compromised.
Team performance: recognizing your red buttons
Every person has specific triggers that activate their amygdala. These “red buttons” are often rooted in past experiences, core values, or areas where we feel particularly vulnerable. Common workplace triggers include:
- Feeling dismissed or ignored
- Having your competence questioned
- Experiencing perceived unfairness
- Being excluded from important decisions
- Facing criticism in front of others
The key to managing amygdala hijack isn’t eliminating these triggers but learning to recognize them. Self-awareness becomes your first line of defense against emotional reactivity.
The four-step recovery process
When teams learn to work with amygdala hijack rather than against it, they can transform these moments from destructive to constructive. Here’s the process we teach teams:
1. Identify your personal red buttons
Take time to reflect on situations that consistently trigger strong emotional reactions. Notice patterns in your responses. What themes emerge? Understanding your triggers allows you to prepare for them rather than being blindsided by them.
2. Recognize the physical signals
Your body sends clear signals when an amygdala hijack is beginning. Common early warning signs include:
- Rapid heartbeat
- Shallow breathing
- Muscle tension
- Feeling hot or flushed
- Clenched jaw or fists
Learning to recognize these signals gives you a crucial window of opportunity to intervene before the hijack takes full control.
3. Create a conscious pause
When you notice the physical signals, implement what we call the “10-second rule.” Literally count to ten while focusing on your breathing. This brief pause allows your prefrontal cortex to come back online and regain control from your amygdala.
This isn’t about suppressing emotions but about creating space to choose your response rather than reacting automatically.
4. Return to your rational brain
After the pause, consciously engage your prefrontal cortex by asking yourself rational questions:
- What’s really happening here?
- What outcome do I want from this conversation?
- How can I respond in a way that moves us forward?
This step helps you shift from reactive mode back to responsive mode.
Creating trigger-aware teams
The most powerful transformation we witness in teams occurs when members learn to recognize and respect each other’s triggers. This isn’t about avoiding difficult conversations or walking on eggshells. Instead, it’s about creating an environment where triggers can be acknowledged and discussed openly.
When teams develop this level of psychological safety, they can engage in the kind of honest, challenging conversations that drive real results. They can address conflicts directly rather than allowing them to fester. They can push each other to grow without fear of causing emotional damage.
The ripple effect of emotional awareness
Teams that master amygdala hijack management experience remarkable improvements in their overall performance:
- Meetings become more productive as emotional reactivity decreases
- Conflict resolution improves as team members stay in rational mode longer
- Innovation increases as people feel safe to share vulnerable ideas
- Trust deepens as team members demonstrate emotional maturity
- Decision-making quality improves as emotional reactions don’t cloud judgment
Beyond individual awareness
While individual awareness is crucial, the real breakthrough happens when teams create collective practices around emotional regulation. This might include:
- Starting important conversations with a brief check-in about emotional state
- Agreeing on signals team members can use when they notice someone becoming triggered
- Creating protocols for taking breaks when emotions run high
- Establishing norms about how to address triggers when they arise
The path forward
Amygdala hijack is a natural human response that will never be completely eliminated from team dynamics. The goal isn’t perfection but rather building the awareness and skills to work with these reactions constructively.
Teams that can openly discuss what triggers them can also openly discuss what truly matters: achieving results and growing together. When psychological safety increases, so does the capacity for honest feedback, creative problem-solving, and collective achievement.
The most beautiful aspect of this work is witnessing teams that know and respect each other’s triggers. They’ve learned that emotional awareness isn’t a weakness but a strength that enables them to have the conversations that matter most.
Stay curious. Explore our updates by subscribing to our newsletter.